Nature's Color Palette
by tiggiger
Summary: A story-like poem of Yuuri's thoughts as Viktor is a hit and run victim.
1. Chapter 1

I can hear laughing in the streets, why are they laughing?

The situation is hardly funny. I'm not laughing.

Or did I misinterpret the situation?

Did I miss the punchline to the joke?

I keep waiting for Vitya to pop out from behind me and yell "it's all a joke Yuuri! I'm right here!"

But he doesn't. And he won't.

Never again.

.

Never again will I get to hear my Viktor's laughter echo through the crowd.

I won't get to see that smile that lights up the room.

Nor will I see those icy blue eyes that make my heart flutter.

I will never taste that sweet flavor that is just _Viktor_ as we kiss ever again.

The smell of his hair as we hug will become a distant memory.

How could I ever forget the feeling of the warm metal of our rings pressing into my fingers?

How can I ever forget the color of the snow as his blood soaked into the ground?

I still feel the blood seeping into the knees of my pants as I held him in my arms.

No matter how many times I wash my hands, I still see Vitya's blood on my hands.

.

I hear the sirens coming. It's too late, I want to scream out to them.

It's too late! It's too late to save him! It's too late.

It's too late.

I was too late. I couldn't save him.

I held Viktor in my arms as he smiled at me.

My vision was blurry with tears.

The tears fell on Vitya's face, and mixed with the blood and dirt already there.

He never spoke a word- he didn't need to. His eyes told me everything I needed to know.

"Don't blame yourself Yuuri. Live for me. I love you."

He shed a single tear. He gripped my hand harder for a moment, staring at me with intensity.

I felt his grip loosen. His eyes slowly fell closed.

.

In that moment time had stopped.

I saw the truck come around that corner in my mind over and over again.

They didn't even slow down.

The vision of my Vitya flying through the air, like a swan taking flight.

The sound of his body hitting the pavement.

Crimson blood mixing with white snow.

Even then, he was beautiful.

.

Fresh snow began to fall.

Yet it could not cover the crimson that had covered the ground.

Like a virus, spreading, growing, each passing second expanded its reach.

No amount of snow could cover the stains upon the ground.

Red blood on white snow.

Nature's color palette for the painting of life and death.

.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello everyone! I'm a horrible person for writing this. I teared up even as I wrote it. I just wanted to try to imagine want Yuuri would be thinking if Viktor died in some tragic way, something that he couldn't see coming. Well as always let me know what y'all thought! So review and favorite to your heart's content! Virtual hugs will certainly come your way and I would appreciate it more than you know. And with that I bid you all adieu! Thanks a million and one!**

 **-Tiggiger :D**


	2. Chapter 2

What did it feel like Yuuri when my hand was ripped away from yours?

Did you try to hold on tightly? Was there time to think about what was happening?

Were you aware that my life was put into danger?

That truck came so fast. I saw it out of the corner of my eye as I glanced towards you, moya lyubov'

You didn't see it. How could you? There was nothing you could have done. Nothing to prevent this from happening.

.

In the twinkling of an eye, I was flying.

I felt my arms flail about, trying to gain purchase on any available surface.

My back was bending in a shape that was more painful than it looked.

Everything was moving in slow motion.

It was almost if I would extend my arms upward, I could fly away like a startled swan on a lake.

Time caught up with me.

My head snapped down, slamming into the pavement below me.

I couldn't see anything for a moment, or at least it seemed like only a moment.

When I opened my eyes, your face, Yuuri, filled my vision.

.

I love you so much Yuuri. You are my everything.

The reason I wake up each day with a smile on my face.

Your smile could cure cancer and stop wars, this I am sure.

You brought love into my life. Before you, I didn't know what it felt like to be loved by another.

I was an empty man.

Nothing more than a doll someone placed on the top shelf, with a painted smile.

My stomach does back flips when you say my name.

I am whole with you, Yuuri.

.

The pain hit me.

Everything hurt. I felt cold.

The feeling could be compared to someone injecting ice water directly into my veins.

My back felt wet and sticky. What did I fall in?

Oh, that's my blood.

My.

Blood.

I'm bleeding.

Oh god, oh god. Is this how I die?

.

No. No. No. No!

This can't be happening!

Yuuri! I don't want to leave you.

I love you.

I'm so scared Yuuri, what will happen to me when I die? Will you remember me?

.

Will you live on without me? Can you live on, Yuuri?

You must.

Yuuri, there is no other option.

Live on for me. Live each day with passion and a happiness that no one can stifle.

This moment is only the end of a chapter in your story Yuuri.

Don't let it be the end of your book, the way it is mine.

You cannot blame yourself. Not now. Not ten years from now when you are reminded of me.

Yuuri, you are my personal sun. Everything in my life revolves around you.

.

Please don't cry Yuuri. I hate to see you cry.

Those pretty brown eyes, the colors of autumn leaves.

I stare intently into your eyes. You will be the last thing I see.

White snow is falling around us.

A snow globe of our own, my little Katsudon.

Red blood, my blood, covers your hands.

I don't have much time left now.

I'm so cold.

I grip your hand as hard as I could.

I'm scared Yuuri, scared to go.

I feel my grip loosening, my vision is fading to black.

Goodbye, Yuuri.

.

.

Mother nature is a beautiful painter.

She uses the most pristine colors to tell stories of love and life.

Crimson blood on white snow.

Blue eyes like ice that glisten in the sun.

Autumn leaves of golden brown and orange.

Her color palette is beautiful.

And she always signs with the color red.

.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hello everyone! I had to continue from Viktor's perspective. I just couldn't let the first part stand alone, it felt incomplete. So there it is. Who knows? I might visit this story/poem again someday, write more about what will happen to Yuuri? Well as always let me know what y'all thought and if you want me to continue! Your reviews fuel my genius. ;) So review and favorite to your heart's content! Virtual hugs will certainly come your way and I would appreciate it more than you know. And with that I bid you all adieu! Thanks a million and one!**

 **-Tiggiger :D**


	3. Chapter 3

Imagine the worst thing you can think of.  
That thing that would completely break you.  
Break you to the point where you know you can never be whole again.  
That is what has happened to me.  
I am broken.  
Because he was broke.  
That monster.  
Why did they do it? Have they no soul? No regret?  
They killed him.  
My Vitya- he's dead because of you.  
It's all your fault.  
It's. Your. Fault.  
I hate you. Despise your existence.  
Why does a person like you get to live while Viktor died in my arms?  
What gives you the right?  
Who gave you the authority to take someone else's life?  
Why did you get to play God?  
Viktor was mine.  
He didn't do anything to deserve this.  
Nothing in his entire life.  
All he ever did was treat me well and love me unconditionally.  
You took him from me.  
Viktor is gone because of you.  
Viktor Nikiforov. That was the name of the man you murdered.  
I want you to remember his name.  
I want it to haunt your dreams.  
I want his face to be burned into the back of your mind.  
You don't have the right to forget his face.  
His name was Viktor Nikiforov.  
And you murdered him.

...

My therapist said that writing my feelings down would help.  
It hasn't yet. I write to you every day, Viktor.  
I still miss you.  
It still hurts.  
I feel so broken without you.  
Lost and alone. I don't know what to do.  
Where should I go?  
What do I do now?

.

Your funeral was today, Viktor.  
It was absolutely beautiful.  
There were the prettiest blue roses, Chris picked them out. He said they were the most fitting.  
They played our song, Viktor.  
I remember the face's when we did that pair skate...  
There wasn't a dry eye in the house.  
We were beautiful together.  
Everyone was there- Yurio, Yakov, Chris, even JJ!  
Yakov was more upset than I expected him to be.  
He really cared for you Viktor- in his own way.  
When we got to the cemetery- I spoke about you.  
Well, I tried. I had everything written down.  
I knew what I wanted to say.  
I just couldn't say the words.  
Yurio helped me.  
He took the paper from my hands and read what I couldn't say.  
I gave him the biggest hug I could muster.  
When you were lowered into the hole,  
I put the first handful of dirt into the grave.  
I swear as we all stood there and cried, I could hear "Stay Close To Me" on the wind.

...

It's been two months now, Vitya.  
I think about you all the time.  
When will this pain go away?  
Will it ever go away?  
It just hurts. So. Much.

...

It's been three months now, Viktor.  
I had a bad day today.  
I'm ashamed to say it to you- but I cut myself today.  
I just... I just want to feel better, Vitya.  
The medication doesn't help.  
My therapist just says the same thing every time.  
"It will get better".  
When though?  
When will I ever feel better?

...

Great news, Viktor!  
The police think they have ID'd the owner of the truck!  
Finally- you will be able to rest in peace.  
I will make everything better, Vitya.  
We will be together again soon.  
I love you.

...

OFFICIAL POLICE REPORT

At 7:32pm yesterday evening, reports came in of a man who had shot a local resident in the  
chest three times with a handgun. The shooter was a prominent Japanese figure skater, Yuuri  
Katsuki, who had hid himself in isolation after the death of his husband, Viktor Nikiforov. The  
local resident, Jonathan Archer, was the suspected driver of the truck that killed Katsuki's  
husband. Archer was expected to go to trial within the next month for hit and run charges. Eye  
witness accounts say that Katsuki approached Archer with the gun and yelled "did you kill  
Viktor?" Katsuki proceed to shoot Archer three times before pulling the gun on himself. One  
eye witness says they heard Katsuki say "now we can be together, Viktor. We can be used by  
mother nature for her color palette together. Forever." When officers arrived at the scene, both  
Archer and Katsuki were dead. Katsuki's friends and relatives were questioned and said that "it  
was unexpected. They knew he was depressed, but they didn't think he would kill anyone".  
Quiet funerals for both Archer and Katsuki will be held within the next week.

...

Nature's color palette.  
What beautiful colors it holds.  
Pure white snow.  
Brown leaves on an autumn day.  
Blue eyes like ice.  
Vibrant green grass on a spring morning.  
And yet the color she chooses to use for her painting?  
Crimson red.

.

.

.

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE: Well, it's finally done. I finally can let this story rest. This ended up**  
 **much longer than I ever expected it would. Every time I would write, I would just think it**  
 **needed.. More. This time- it feels complete. We have been full circle now. So what did**  
 **you think? Review to let me know! Oh, by the way, soon I will be working on a new**  
 **story! An actual story- not just a poem story. Its gonna have a dark Viktor in it. Only**  
 **trouble- it will be rated M- it's gonna be much darker than anything I've done so far, but I**  
 **am very excited for it! So be on the lookout for it! As always, I bid you all adieu! Thanks**  
 **for sticking around!**  
 **-Tiggiger :D**


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